Cai Guo-Qiang: Falling back to earth

42 43 ‘Ah, homeward bound I go!’ Tao Yuanming Ah, homeward bound I go! Why not go home, seeing that my field and garden with weeds are overgrown? Myself have made my soul serf to my body: why have vain regrets and mourn alone? Fret not over bygones and the forward journey take. Only a short distance have I gone astray, and I know today I am right, if yesterday was a complete mistake. Lightly floats and drifts the boat, and gently flows and flaps my gown. I inquire the road of a wayfarer, and sulk at the dimness of the dawn. Then when I catch sight of my old roofs, joy will my steps quicken. Servants will be there to bid me welcome, and waiting at the door are the greeting children. Gone to seed, perhaps, are my garden paths, but there will still be the chrysanthemums and the pine! I shall lead the youngest boy in by the hand, and on the table there stands a cup full of wine! Holding the pot and cup I give myself a drink, happy to see in the courtyard the hanging bough. I lean upon the southern window with an immense satisfaction, and note that the little place is cozy enough to walk around. The garden grows more familiar and interesting with the daily walks. What if no one ever knocks at the always closed door! Carrying a cane I wander at peace, and now and then look aloft to gaze at the blue above. There the clouds idle away from their mountain recesses without any intent or purpose, and birds, when tired of their wandering flights, will think of home. Darkly then fall the shadows and, ready to come home, I yet fondle the lonely pines and loiter around. Ah, homeward bound I go! Let me from now on learn to live alone! The world and I are not made for one another, and why drive round like one looking for what he has not found? Content shall I be with conversations with my own kin, and there will be music and books to while away the hours. The farmers will come and tell me that spring is here and there will be work to do at the western farm. Some order covered wagons; some row in small boats. Sometimes we explore quiet, unknown ponds, and sometimes we climb over steep, rugged mounds. There the trees, happy of heart, grow marvelously green, and spring water gushes forth with a gurgling sound. I admire how things grow and prosper according to their seasons, and feel that thus, too, shall my life go its round. Enough! How long yet shall I this mortal shape keep? Why not take life as it comes, and why hustle and bustle like one on an errand bound? Wealth and power are not my ambitions, and unattainable is the abode of the gods! I would go forth alone on a bright morning, or perhaps, planting my cane, begin to pluck the weeds and till the ground. Or I would compose a poem beside a clear stream, or perhaps go up Tungkao and make a long-drawn call on the top of the hill. So would I be content to live and die, and without questionings of the heart, gladly accept Heaven’s will. Translated by Lin Yutang Published in The Importance of Living , Heinemann, London, 1938. © Lin Tai and Hsiang Ju Lin 2013. My family was impoverished. What we sowed and cultivated was not enough to sustain us. There are many young children in my household and, oftentimes, not a grain of rice is left in the jars. The means to maintain a living was never found. Relatives and friends all persuaded me to seek a clerical post, but I did not know how to go about it. In this turbulent world, lords from all over considered recruiting talents a virtue. An uncle of mine saw my dire situation and referred me to fill a position at a small town. Peace had yet to be restored, and I feared going too far to assume the post. The township of Pengze is only 30 miles from home and, as part of my wages, the harvest from the official fields would suffice to supply me with wine, so I accepted the offer. Not even a few days had passed when my homesickness arose and I longed to return. Why? It is not in my nature to abide by others. Though hunger and cold are pressing matters, acting against my will pains me more. My official duties were all driven by the bodily need for food. Therefore, I was left with frustration and regret, deeply ashamed that I abandoned my lifelong belief. I had hoped to stay on for an entire year, and I would pack up my belongings and quietly depart overnight after the autumn harvest. Then I learned my younger sister, married to Mr Cheng, had passed away in Wuchang. The bond between us urged me to take the fastest carriage to attend her funeral, and subsequently allowed me to resign from the post. From mid autumn until winter, I was only in office for a little over 80 days. Now, the events unfolded in my favour, I decided to title my prose ‘Ah, homeward bound I go!’. Tao Yuanming Written in the eleventh month, year 405 Translated by Kelly Ma